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        • What is Gender Equality Training
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        • Step-by-step guide to Gender Equality Training
            • 1. Assess the needs
            • 2. Integrate initiatives to broader strategy
            • 3. Ensure sufficient resources
            • 4. Write good terms of reference
            • 5. Select a trainer
            • 6. Engage in the needs assessment
            • 7. Actively participate in the initiative
            • 8. Invite others to join in
            • 9. Monitoring framework and procedures
            • 10. Set up an evaluation framework
            • 11. Assess long-term impacts
            • 12. Give space and support others
        • Designing effective Gender Equality Training
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      • Gender Impact Assessment
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        • What is Gender Impact Assessment
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        • Who should use Gender Impact Assessment
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        • Guide to Gender Impact Assessment
          • Step 1: Definition of policy purpose
          • Step 2: Checking gender relevance
          • Step 3: Gender-sensitive analysis
          • Step 4: Weighing gender impact
          • Step 5: Findings and proposals for improvement
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      • Institutional Transformation
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        • What is Institutional Transformation
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          • Dimensions of gender mainstreaming in institutions: The SPO model
        • Why focus on Institutional Transformation
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        • Guide to Institutional Transformation
            • 1. Creating accountability and strengthening commitment
            • 2. Allocating resources
            • 3. Conducting an organisational analysis
            • 4. Developing a strategy and work plan
            • 5. Establishing a support structure
            • 6. Setting gender equality objectives
            • 7. Communicating gender mainstreaming
            • 8. Introducing gender mainstreaming
            • 9. Developing gender equality competence
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        • Checklist: Key questions for change
        • Examples from the EU
            • 1. Strengthening accountability
            • 2. Allocating resources
            • 3. Organisational analysis
            • 4. Developing a strategy and working plan
            • 5. Establishing a support structure
            • 6. Setting objectives
            • 7. Communicating gender mainstreaming
            • 8. Introducing methods and tools
            • 9. Developing Competence
            • 10. Establishing a gender information management system
            • 11. Launching action plans
            • 12. Promoting within an organisation
            • 13. Monitoring and evaluating
      • Gender Equality in Academia and Research
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        • WHAT
          • What is a Gender Equality Plan?
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          • Horizon Europe GEP criterion
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          • GEAR step-by-step guide for research organisations, universities and public bodies
            • Step 1: Getting started
            • Step 2: Analysing and assessing the state-of-play in the institution
            • Step 3: Setting up a Gender Equality Plan
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          • GEAR step-by-step guide for research funding bodies
            • Step 1: Getting started
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        • Self-assessment, scoring and interpretation of parliament gender-sensitivity
          • AREA 1 – Women and men have equal opportunities to ENTER the parliament
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            • Domain 1 – Parliamentarians’ presence and capacity in a parliament
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          • AREA 3 – Women’s interests and concerns have adequate SPACE on parliamentary agenda
            • Domain 1 – Gender mainstreaming structures
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            • Domain 3 – Gender mainstreaming tools for staff
          • AREA 4 – The parliament produces gender-sensitive LEGISLATION
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          • AREA 5 – The parliament complies with its SYMBOLIC function
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        • Why is gender budgeting important in the EU Funds?
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          • Tool 1: Connecting the EU Funds with the EU’s regulatory framework on gender equality
            • Legislative and regulatory basis for EU policies on gender equality
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          • Tool 2: Analysing gender inequalities and gender needs at the national and sub-national levels
            • Steps to assess and analyse gender inequalities and needs
            • Step 1. Collect information and disaggregated data on the target group
            • Step 2. Identify existing gender inequalities and their underlying causes
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            • Step 4. Draw conclusions
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          • Tool 3: Operationalising gender equality in policy objectives and specific objectives/measures
            • Steps for operationalising gender equality in Partnership Agreements and Operational Programmes
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            • Checklist for putting the horizontal principle of gender equality into practice in Partnership Agreements
            • Checklist for putting the horizontal principle of gender equality into practice in Operational Programmes
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          • Tool 4: Coordination and complementarities between the EU Funds to advance work-life balance
            • Steps for enhancing coordination and complementarities between the funds
            • Step 1. Alignment with the EU’s strategic engagement goals for gender equality and national gender equality goals
            • Steps 2 and 3. Identifying and developing possible work-life balance interventions
            • Step 4. Following-up through the use of indicators within M&E systems
            • Fictional case study 1: reconciling paid work and childcare
            • Fictional case study 2: reconciling shift work and childcare
            • Fictional case study 3: balancing care for oneself and others
            • Fictional case study 4: reconciling care for children and older persons with shift work
            • Additional resources
          • Tool 5: Defining partnerships and multi-level governance
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          • Tool 6: Developing quantitative and qualitative indicators for advancing gender equality
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          • Tool 7: Defining gender-sensitive project selection criteria
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          • Tool 8: Tracking resource allocations for gender equality in the EU Funds
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            • Step 1: Ex ante approach
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          • Tool 9: Mainstreaming gender equality in project design
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My personal story

PrintDownload as PDF
Narrative
Country: Slovakia
Sex:
Male
Primary Topic:
CHILDHOOD / FAMILY LIFE / RELATIONSHIPS
Year:
1980, 1990

R: I do not have any special ideas about the male role. I believe that it is a question of mutual agreement. In our family, when kids were small, I must say that my wife took care of them more, I was not that present. I started to teach at that time. It was a very exciting period. I do not do domestic work. I never did. So yes, in the domestic tasks I am more egoistic than my wife, I admit. I usually sit in front of the computer and work on my things and I do not care about the household. A woman cannot afford it.
(…)

R: Afterwards I got married. We took all the decisions together so it is not gender… only the domestic work, I do not participate much so it is on my wife’s shoulders.

I: And when kids were small?

R: When kids were small I went out with them, for walks and so, but preparing food and so, it was done by my wife.

I: So you did mostly activities with them and played with them?

R: Yes, playing mostly and those useful things such as laundry and so… At that time I always studied something, I had a lot to do outside of the household.
(…)

I: Did you study all the time?

R: Yes, permanently. My whole life. (laugh) I was a chemist doing research so it took a lot of my time and then I started to teach at the university. So I had a lot of work.

I: Did you bring work to home?

R: I worked a lot at home. So if it was possible, I skipped domestic work. If it was not, I participated.
(…)

R: It was because I studied while working. My wife had already a degree at that time. I still studied, so I needed to prepare for classes. And then I changed the orientation from a chemist to a philosopher, so there was much to study to catch up. This was an important point. When I decided to change a career we discussed it together, I asked her for an opinion and she agreed. Later it seemed that it got to her nerves a bit because I really spent a lot of time studying, all my free time so I did not spend it with the family. But it has nothing to do with the fact that I am a man. I believe.

I: Can you imagine the situation reversed, that your wife would come and tell you that she is changing her career?

R: I cannot imagine that. (laugh) It was really a sort of sacrifice from her side. First few years I was really overloaded by it.

I: And why did you decide to change the profession?

R: It has been always my hobby, I just did not do it professionally. It was my only hobby, I do not garden or so. And when there was an opportunity to do it professionally…

I: In what period did it happen?

R: In nineties, after the revolution. The Marxist philosophers were leaving schools and they were looking for replacements. And I, that was when I met [name], we did home seminars and guys from [name of university] attended them. After the Marxist department finished they were looking for philosophers so the guys asked me to apply. So I did, just for fun, I did not expect to get the job. But I got it. So from one day to the next a chemist became a head of the philosophy department. (laugh)

I: It would probably be impossible nowadays.

R: Definitely not. That was such a period of history. But it had that negative consequence that the family suffered. I did not spend much time with children. The first years were really difficult.

Slovak

R: Pokiaľ ide o také veci ako voľba povolania, tak to sú veci, kedy sa radia so mnou. Deti.

I: Koľko máte detí?

R: Ja mám syna a dcéru. 30 ročný syn a 25 ročná dcéra. Čím sú starší, tým viacej sa radia so mnou. Neviem, či to súvisí s tým, že som muž. A to ide o také veci, o takú tú bežnú životnú prevádzku sa radia skôr s manželkou.

I: A čo sú tie veci, s ktorými sa radia s vami?

R: Takéto napríklad zamestnanie alebo čo ja viem sa rozhodujú, či študovať ďalej, doktorát robiť a tak ďalej, tak sa radia so mnou.

I: Vaša manželka pracuje?

R: Moja manželka pracuje, áno.

I: Čo robí?

R: Ona robí v [meno firmy] na životnom prostredí, Životné prostredie.

I: Lebo viete, že sa s vami radia o vzdelaní môže byť aj tým, že vy vlastne pôsobíte na škole.

R: No tak je to možné, pôsobím áno. Áno je to možné. Ale keď napríklad sa rozhodovala dcéra, že či študovať, aj syn, tak sa radil so mnou. Viac dali na môj názor. Tak samozrejme začali ste s tým, že pracujeme v školstve, ale ináč akože nie je tá deľba povinností nejak tak rodovo ako, ten rodový faktor sa tam nevyskytuje. Takže v tej rodine ťažko povedať, naozaj. Tak ja si myslím, že to, že je človek muž sa prejavuje v spôsobe, v spôsoboch, ale... Naozaj sa nevyskytol taký pocit, kde by sa to, že som muž, bola výhoda alebo nevýhoda.

I: To môže byť úplne nejaký, ja neviem, že zážitok zo školy. Mali ste pocit, že keď ste boli dieťa, že v škole sa chovali...

R: Ja som chodil do chlapčenskej triedy.

I: A vtedy, to bolo tak delené, že boli chlapčenské a dievčenské triedy?

R: Áno, boli chlapčenské a dievčenské triedy. Na priemyslovke sme už boli zmiešaní. Tam už, tak viete, v puberte, viete nie sú také životné situácie, kde by sa rozhodovalo, že je človek muž. Ale taká tá diferenciácia tam bola. To závisí skôr jaký ste muž. (smiech)

I: Určite, ale môžeme sa baviť aj o tom, že ako si predstavujete nejakú mužskú rolu.

R: Mužskú rolu ja si nepredstavujem. To je jak, myslím, že to je vec dohody. Každopádne v našej domácnosti, keď boli deti malé, tak viacej, musím povedať, že som viacej zanedbával, že viacej boli na krku manželky. Ja som vtedy začínal učiť. To boli dosť vzrušujúce časy. Nestarám sa o domácnosť ani som sa nikdy nestaral. Hej, no tak to musím povedať, že z hľadiska tej deľby práce v domácnosti sa správam egoistickejšie ako žena. Väčšinou sedím pri počítači a robím si svoje veci a veľmi sa o domácnosť nestarám. Keď toto by si možno žena nemohla dovoliť, no.

I: A máte pocit, že trebárs ste vraveli, že máte syna a dcéru, že ako je to so zapojením sa ich do nejakých domácich prác? Je tam rozdiel, ako sa zapája syn a ako sa zapája dcéra?

R: Ani veľmi nie. Rozdiel je v tom, že dcéra asistuje manželke, asistovala, keď ešte bola s nami. Syn nikdy. Hej, že, je tam taká rodová... na tie domáce práce syn veľmi no tak, to je aj vec výchovy, ale veľmi sa do toho nemá. Ale zase v kuchyni, keď je sám, vie toho spraviť viac jak ja.

I: Ale keď nemusí, tak nerobí?

R: Keď nemusí, tak nerobí.

I: Čiže trošku sa ako keby prebral ten rodičovský...

R: Áno, ten vzorec sa možno prevzal, hej.
(continuation after 2nd narrative)

R: No tak potom som sa oženil, no pri, všetko rozhodovanie sme robili spolu, takže tam tiež sa odo mňa, že by sa prejavilo, skôr... jedine naozaj, že sa viacej ulievam z domácich prác, čo si manželka nemôže dovoliť.
A keď boli deti malé?

R: Aj keď boli deti malé, tak ja som chodil, chodieval som s kočíkom na prechádzky a tak, ale pripravovať jedlo a tak, to robila manželka.

I: Čiže vy ste robili také skôr aktivity s nimi, také to hranie.

R: Takéto hranie a tie užitočné veci, pranie a toto, ale vtedy ešte... Stále som niečo študoval a stále som niečo mal také mimo domáce, bol som zamestnaný všeličím.

I: Vy te tak ako permanentne študovali?

R: ja som permanentne študoval celý život. (smiech) Nie tak, ja som predtým som robil ako vedu, výskum ako chemik, takže som veľa času tomu venoval, potom som učil na škole...Takže ja som naozaj o mnoho venoval veciam...

I: Ste si aj domov nosili prácu?

R: Áno. Pracoval som. Tak, kde sa dalo, tam som sa ulial. Kde sa nedalo, tam som robil zase som sa neulieval.

I: Napríklad?

R: Som napríklad vysával. Nakupujem, napríklad tiež niekedy. Teraz viac, predtým menej. Ale tak v kuchyni nerobím nič. Vlastne už teraz umývam riad, ale to som tiež nerobieval.

I: A zmenilo sa to prečo, že ste začali ten riad?

R: neviem, to tak samovoľne nejako. Možno aj tým, že už mám aj, už nepracujem toľko doma a mám taký voľnejší pracovný čas.

I: Deti žijú ešte s vami?

R: Prosím?

I: Či deti ešte žijú s vami? Nie. Už žijú inde. Mohlo aj to ovplyvniť, že zrazu je tam teda viac roboty a menej rúk?

R: Ale nie, nie. To nejak tým, že už proste som taký voľnejší. Tak ja som už v dôchodku, robím ešte, ale už doobeda som napríklad doma väčšinou. Som viacej doma a keď už som doma, tak niečo spravím. Predtým som bol veľmi málo doma.

I: A mali ste pocit, alebo rozprávali ste sa niekedy s manželkou ako ona vníma, že si sa viac venujete...

R: Rozprávali sme sa, to niekedy proste mi to vytkla, jasné. Potom som sa snažil týždeň a...

I: A ona nemala nikdy snahu nejako sa viac venovať tej práci?

R: No tak moja manželka nemala také ambície v tej práci, nie, viete, skôr domácnosť a tak. Tak si myslím, že tá jej práca... Proste nemá také ambície ani robiť kariéru ani robiť vedu alebo... Ju to tiež dosť zamestnáva, dosť toho má, ale príde domov a už sa práci nevenuje, viete. Príde domov (nezrozumiteľné)

I: A vaši rodičia pracovali obidvaja?

R: Ja som nemal otca, ja som, otec zomrel, ešte keď som bol malý a matka pracovala, dlho. Tak už bola na penzii potom.

I: Dobre, podľa mňa sa z toho dajú vybrať...

R: Neviem, na toto si musíte vyberať také špeciálne typy, to ja nie som. To si najskôr musíte spraviť taký predprieskum.

I: Podľa mňa každý človek má takýto zážitok, len nad tým nerozmýšľa. Väčšinou sa vždy tí ľudia tvárili tak, že ja k tomu nemám, čo povedať, ale vždy nakoniec na niečo prišli.

R: Ja som neprišiel na nič.

I: Ale nie, prišli ste. Ste hovorili o tých, čo je podľa mňa zaujímavé, že máte pocit, že tie rodové stereotypy vtedy fungovali viac a že boli brané oveľa automatickejšie než dnes.

R: Boli brané automaticky, hej, bolo to brané automaticky, to je pravda.

I: Že sa akože nediskutovalo o tom, že dievčatá budú trebárs robiť desiaty...

R: Nediskutovalo sa tom, boli tie špecializované povinnosti, hej. To sa bralo automaticky. Nejaký iný výskum si vyberte. (smiech)

I: A v tej rodine, vy máte taký ten konzervatívny model alebo tradičný model, že vy sa venujete viac kariére alebo ste sa venovali a tá manželka bola tá, ktorá sa starala o rodinu.

R: Bolo to tým, že naozaj som popri zamestnaní robil tú školu, takže manželka už bola vyštudovaná. Tak ja som ešte študoval, takže som musel sa učiť. A potom, keď som menil zamestnanie, z chemika sa stal filozof, tak som mal veľa čo dobiehať, aby to klapalo. Áno, to je rozhodujúci bod, že keď som chcel zmeniť povolanie, tak som sa s ňou radil, som jej vysvetlil, že čo to bude znamenať a nemala s tým žiadny problém. Myslím, že potom keď, po nejakom čase jej to už išlo na nervy dosť, lebo, nazaj pre mňa tie prípravy do školy mi zo začiatku zaberali všetok čas voľný, takže som sa nevenoval deťom. Ale to nesúvisí s tým, že som bol muž. Si myslím. Keby som bol žena akeby som mal...

I: Viete si to predstaviť naopak, keby manželka za vami prišla, že sa ide venovať teraz inému odboru?

R: (smiech) To si neviem predstaviť. Tak toto je naozaj, že... to bola od nej veľká obetavosť. Ja som naozaj prvé dva tri roky ma to pohltilo úplne.

I: A prečo ste sa rozhodli zmeniť...

R: Ja som, ja som sa tomu venoval vždy, len som to nerobil profesionálne. To bol môj koníček jediný, ja nemám žiadne také, že záhradka a také veci. Tak, keď sa naskytla príležitosť sa tým živiť, viete, to bolo...

I: A v akom období ste takto zmenili orientáciu?

R: Ja som možno, že 90-te, po revolúcii. Keď tí filozofi marxisti odchádzali zo školy a hľadali nových. A ja som vtedy, však, tam som sa zoznámil s [meno], sme robili také domáce semináre a chlapci, učitelia z [meno inštitúcie] chodili na tie semináre. Sa rozpustila katedra marxizmu a teraz hľadali ľudí na filozofiu, tak oni prišli za mnou, aby som sa prihlásil do konkurzu. Vtedy naozaj som nič od toho nečakal, len tak pre srandu som sa prihlásil a stal som sa vedúcim. To taká, radikálna zmena zo dňa na deň, z chemika vedúci katedry filozofie. (smiech)

I: Áno, to by dnes možno ani nešlo.

R: To by dnes určite nešlo, nie, nie. Tak to bola taká doba. Ale tak jeden neatívny dôsledok bol, že tá domácnosť tým trpela. Na deti som toho času veľmi málo. Tie prvé roky boli dosť ťažké.

I: Dobre, ďakujem.

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PROFESSIONAL CAREER
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partner
Tags:
caring/carer/care giver, conflict, family life, marriage/co-habitation, responsibility, roles/role pattern, hobby, career path, occupation/job, reconciliation private/professional
Male, 71 Slovakia

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