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      • Gender Equality Training
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        • What is Gender Equality Training
        • Why invest in Gender Equality Training
        • Who should use Gender Equality Training
        • Step-by-step guide to Gender Equality Training
            • 1. Assess the needs
            • 2. Integrate initiatives to broader strategy
            • 3. Ensure sufficient resources
            • 4. Write good terms of reference
            • 5. Select a trainer
            • 6. Engage in the needs assessment
            • 7. Actively participate in the initiative
            • 8. Invite others to join in
            • 9. Monitoring framework and procedures
            • 10. Set up an evaluation framework
            • 11. Assess long-term impacts
            • 12. Give space and support others
        • Designing effective Gender Equality Training
        • Gender Equality Training in the EU
        • Good Practices on Gender Equality Training
        • More resources on Gender Equality Training
        • More on EIGE's work on Gender Equality Training
      • Gender Impact Assessment
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        • What is Gender Impact Assessment
        • Why use Gender Impact Assessment
        • Who should use Gender Impact Assessment
        • When to use Gender Impact Assessment
        • Guide to Gender Impact Assessment
          • Step 1: Definition of policy purpose
          • Step 2: Checking gender relevance
          • Step 3: Gender-sensitive analysis
          • Step 4: Weighing gender impact
          • Step 5: Findings and proposals for improvement
        • Following up on gender impact assessment
        • General considerations
        • Examples from the EU
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      • Institutional Transformation
        • Back to toolkit page
        • What is Institutional Transformation
          • Institutional transformation and gender: Key points
          • Gender organisations
          • Types of institutions
          • Gender mainstreaming and institutional transformation
          • Dimensions of gender mainstreaming in institutions: The SPO model
        • Why focus on Institutional Transformation
          • Motivation model
        • Who the guide is for
        • Guide to Institutional Transformation
            • 1. Creating accountability and strengthening commitment
            • 2. Allocating resources
            • 3. Conducting an organisational analysis
            • 4. Developing a strategy and work plan
            • 5. Establishing a support structure
            • 6. Setting gender equality objectives
            • 7. Communicating gender mainstreaming
            • 8. Introducing gender mainstreaming
            • 9. Developing gender equality competence
            • 10. Establishing a gender information management system
            • 11. Launching gender equality action plans
            • 12. Promotional equal opportunities
            • 13. Monitoring and steering organisational change
        • Dealing with resistance
          • Discourse level
          • Individual level
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          • Statements and reactions
        • Checklist: Key questions for change
        • Examples from the EU
            • 1. Strengthening accountability
            • 2. Allocating resources
            • 3. Organisational analysis
            • 4. Developing a strategy and working plan
            • 5. Establishing a support structure
            • 6. Setting objectives
            • 7. Communicating gender mainstreaming
            • 8. Introducing methods and tools
            • 9. Developing Competence
            • 10. Establishing a gender information management system
            • 11. Launching action plans
            • 12. Promoting within an organisation
            • 13. Monitoring and evaluating
      • Gender Equality in Academia and Research
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        • WHAT
          • What is a Gender Equality Plan?
          • Terms and definitions
          • Which stakeholders need to be engaged into a GEP
          • About the Gear Tool
        • WHY
          • Horizon Europe GEP criterion
          • Gender Equality in Research and Innovation
          • Why change must be structural
          • Rationale for gender equality change in research and innovation
          • GEAR step-by-step guide for research organisations, universities and public bodies
            • Step 1: Getting started
            • Step 2: Analysing and assessing the state-of-play in the institution
            • Step 3: Setting up a Gender Equality Plan
            • Step 4: Implementing a Gender Equality Plan
            • Step 5: Monitoring progress and evaluating a Gender Equality Plan
            • Step 6: What comes after the Gender Equality Plan?
          • GEAR step-by-step guide for research funding bodies
            • Step 1: Getting started
            • Step 2: Analysing and assessing the state-of-play in the institution
            • Step 3: Setting up a Gender Equality Plan
            • Step 4: Implementing a Gender Equality Plan
            • Step 5: Monitoring progress and evaluating a Gender Equality Plan
            • Step 6: What comes after the Gender Equality Plan?
          • GEAR action toolbox
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      • Gender-sensitive Parliaments
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        • What is the tool for?
        • Who is the tool for?
        • How to use the tool
        • Self-assessment, scoring and interpretation of parliament gender-sensitivity
          • AREA 1 – Women and men have equal opportunities to ENTER the parliament
            • Domain 1 – Electoral system and gender quotas
            • Domain 2 - Political party/group procedures
            • Domain 3 – Recruitment of parliamentary employees
          • AREA 2 – Women and men have equal opportunities to INFLUENCE the parliament’s working procedures
            • Domain 1 – Parliamentarians’ presence and capacity in a parliament
            • Domain 2 – Structure and organisation
            • Domain 3 – Staff organisation and procedures
          • AREA 3 – Women’s interests and concerns have adequate SPACE on parliamentary agenda
            • Domain 1 – Gender mainstreaming structures
            • Domain 2 – Gender mainstreaming tools in parliamentary work
            • Domain 3 – Gender mainstreaming tools for staff
          • AREA 4 – The parliament produces gender-sensitive LEGISLATION
            • Domain 1 – Gender equality laws and policies
            • Domain 2 – Gender mainstreaming in laws
            • Domain 3 – Oversight of gender equality
          • AREA 5 – The parliament complies with its SYMBOLIC function
            • Domain 1 – Symbolic meanings of spaces
            • Domain 2 – Gender equality in external communication and representation
        • How gender-sensitive are parliaments in the EU?
        • Examples of gender-sensitive practices in parliaments
          • Women and men have equal opportunities to ENTER the parliament
          • Women and men have equal opportunities to INFLUENCE the parliament’s working procedures
          • Women’s interests and concerns have adequate SPACE on parliamentary agenda
          • The parliament produces gender-sensitive LEGISLATION
          • The parliament complies with its SYMBOLIC function
        • Glossary of terms
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      • Gender Budgeting
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        • Who is this toolkit for?
        • What is gender budgeting?
          • Introducing gender budgeting
          • Gender budgeting in women’s and men’s lived realities
          • What does gender budgeting involve in practice?
          • Gender budgeting in the EU Funds
            • Gender budgeting as a way of complying with EU legal requirements
            • Gender budgeting as a way of promoting accountability and transparency
            • Gender budgeting as a way of increasing participation in budget processes
            • Gender budgeting as a way of advancing gender equality
        • Why is gender budgeting important in the EU Funds?
          • Three reasons why gender budgeting is crucial in the EU Funds
        • How can we apply gender budgeting in the EU Funds? Practical tools and Member State examples
          • Tool 1: Connecting the EU Funds with the EU’s regulatory framework on gender equality
            • Legislative and regulatory basis for EU policies on gender equality
            • Concrete requirements for considering gender equality within the EU Funds
            • EU Funds’ enabling conditions
            • Additional resources
          • Tool 2: Analysing gender inequalities and gender needs at the national and sub-national levels
            • Steps to assess and analyse gender inequalities and needs
            • Step 1. Collect information and disaggregated data on the target group
            • Step 2. Identify existing gender inequalities and their underlying causes
            • Step 3. Consult directly with the target groups
            • Step 4. Draw conclusions
            • Additional resources
          • Tool 3: Operationalising gender equality in policy objectives and specific objectives/measures
            • Steps for operationalising gender equality in Partnership Agreements and Operational Programmes
            • General guidance on operationalising gender equality when developing policy objectives, specific objectives and measures
            • Checklist for putting the horizontal principle of gender equality into practice in Partnership Agreements
            • Checklist for putting the horizontal principle of gender equality into practice in Operational Programmes
            • Examples of integrating gender equality as a horizontal principle in policy objectives and specific objectives
          • Tool 4: Coordination and complementarities between the EU Funds to advance work-life balance
            • Steps for enhancing coordination and complementarities between the funds
            • Step 1. Alignment with the EU’s strategic engagement goals for gender equality and national gender equality goals
            • Steps 2 and 3. Identifying and developing possible work-life balance interventions
            • Step 4. Following-up through the use of indicators within M&E systems
            • Fictional case study 1: reconciling paid work and childcare
            • Fictional case study 2: reconciling shift work and childcare
            • Fictional case study 3: balancing care for oneself and others
            • Fictional case study 4: reconciling care for children and older persons with shift work
            • Additional resources
          • Tool 5: Defining partnerships and multi-level governance
            • Steps for defining partnerships and multi-level governance
            • Additional resources
          • Tool 6: Developing quantitative and qualitative indicators for advancing gender equality
            • Steps to develop quantitative and qualitative indicators
            • ERDF and Cohesion Fund
            • ESF+
            • EMFF
            • Additional resources
          • Tool 7: Defining gender-sensitive project selection criteria
            • Steps to support gender-sensitive project development and selection
            • Checklist to guide the preparation of calls for project proposals
            • Checklist for project selection criteria
            • Supplementary tool 7.a: Gender-responsive agreements with project implementers
          • Tool 8: Tracking resource allocations for gender equality in the EU Funds
            • Ensuring gender relevance in EU Funds
            • The tracking system
            • Steps for tracking resource allocations on gender equality
            • Step 1: Ex ante approach
            • Step 2: Ex post approach
            • Examples of Step 2a
            • Annex 1: Ex ante assignment of intervention fields to the gender equality dimension codes
            • Annex 2: The EU’s gender equality legal and policy framework
          • Tool 9: Mainstreaming gender equality in project design
            • Steps to mainstream gender equality in project design
            • Step 1. Alignment with partnership agreements’ and Operational Programmes’ gender objectives and indicators
            • Step 2. Project development and application
            • Step 3. Project implementation
            • Step 4. Project assessment
          • Tool 10: Integrating a gender perspective in monitoring and evaluation processes
            • Steps to integrate a gender perspective in M&E processes
            • Additional resources
          • Tool 11: Reporting on resource spending for gender equality in the EU Funds
            • Tracking expenditures for gender equality
            • Additional resources
          • References
          • Abbreviations
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      • Gender-responsive Public Procurement
        • Back to toolkit page
        • Who is this toolkit for?
          • Guiding you through the toolkit
        • What is gender-responsive public procurement?
          • How is gender-responsive public procurement linked to gender equality?
          • How is gender-responsive public procurement linked to gender budgeting?
          • Five reasons why gender-responsive public procurement
          • Why was this toolkit produced
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          • Public procurement strategies cover GRPP
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          • Tool 1:Self-assessment questionnaire about the legal
          • Tool 2: Overview of the legislative, regulatory and policy frameworks
        • How to include gender aspects in tendering procedures
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            • Needs assessment
            • Tool 3: Decision tree to assess the gender relevance
            • Preliminary market consultation
            • Tool 4: Guiding questions for needs assessment
            • Defining the subject matter of the contract
            • Choosing the procedure
            • Tool 5: Decision tree for the choice of procedure for GRPP
            • Dividing the contract into lots
            • Tool 6: Guiding questions for dividing contracts into lots for GRPP
            • Light regime for social, health and other specific services
            • Tool 7: Guiding questions for applying GRPP under the light regime
            • Tool 8: Guiding questions for applying GRPP under the light regime
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            • Preparing tender documents
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            • Exclusion grounds
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            • Tool 9: Decision tree for setting GRPP selection criteria
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            • Tool 10: Formulating GRPP award criteria
            • Tool 11: Bidders’ concepts to ensure the integration of gender aspects
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            • Tool 12: Checklist for including GRPP contract performance conditions
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            • Tool 13: Template for a GRPP monitoring and reporting plan
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          • Step 1: Define the purpose and objectives of police risk assessment
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      • Foreword
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      • Introduction
        • Still far from the finish line
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      • 2. Domain of work
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      • 7. Domain of health
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    • Sexism at work
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  • Gender stereotypes
  • Search for gender stories

My personal story

PrintDownload as PDF
Narrative
Country: Spain
Sex:
Female
Primary Topic:
SOCIETAL CONTEXT
Year:
1970, 1980

R: I have noticed situations caused by dominance and sexism but…Maybe [because of] the education I got. My father was a republican and, in fact, feminist, both due to his ideology and his sensibilities. So he prevented me and my sister from being marked with earring holes when we were born. I don’t know other people who had that experience
(…)

R: So maybe I grew up with this…this way. I was never told that I couldn’t do something because I was a girl. In my family. So, while being so protected in that sense, it never occurred to me that I could be considered less than others. I got married when I was 22 years old. Since it didn’t seem to me that the rules of marriage fit with what I thought my personal and professional development should be, I got separated during the era of Francoism even without [the existence of] divorce legislation. I was the second person to get divorced in city A. The law was passed in March and in May I already had the legal sentence. With an agreement that I made with the attorney, since I had read the law
(…)

R: I mean that I didn’t get depressed, nor did it seem traumatic to me. The more you know of how society works…I assumed the role played by women in an intellectual and scientific way. I was able to rationalize [the divorce] so it didn’t affect me personally. Well, it didn’t….After this traumatic separation I developed a terrible somatic disease. But this happened because of the situation that all women experienced, not just me. In a society within which women had to assume that the man was the one in charge. And I didn’t have the right to work outside the city where he lived. Sure, it seemed to me such a stupid thing….I considered that unacceptable.
(…)

R: Then, I spent 7 years waiting to get divorced. I got separated in 75 and the divorce act was approved by the UCD [government] in 81. Those were years of waiting for a divorce that didn’t exist. And under Francoist laws, which could force me to give up my job. Just because I wanted to work and to live in a different city than the one my family house was in, the one belonging to the man [I had married]. Nothing happened, but legally I was in a very precarious situation
(…)

R: Divorce didn’t exist. And a woman…Women had some legal obligations that nowadays would be inconceivable. If at that point, in 1974, my husband called the police and asked for them to look for me at the place I had been hired in city A, where I was living on my own, I would have had to go and live with him again. If he had gone to the court and said that his wife was not living with him. Yes, and if at that moment they found me committing adultery I would go to prison, me and the man who would be called ‘the adulteress’ mail’. It was legally termed this way. Nothing would have happened to him but I could go to prison. This wasn’t the case, but it might have been. And in 1981 I got divorced, by mutual consent, and with a legal agreement
(...)

R: This was a very hard situation. At this point, I went to visit an attorney and said to him ‘I want to get separated’ and he said ‘why?’. ‘Because I want to’. He said ‘that doesn’t exist [here]. Do you think this is the USA?’. The legislation didn’t include that possibility. There had to be almost a criminal reason for women to get a legal separation. A very strong reason. It might have been a case of domestic violence that had been proven or…Very complicated. And after that, women had to ask for a marriage annulment. There were only religious marriages, there was no civil marriage.
(....)

R: I got really mad. I thought I would have to run away and be a refugee in another country
(…)

R: [I felt resistance]. Yes, this was…It was very hard. Even my parents found that people [that adhered to] order and ‘right-thinking’ stopped saying hello to them. You should bear in mind that in a small city in region A at that moment there might be [just] two or three girls that got separated. Two things were done to them. First, [they experienced] social segregation since they could be a bad example for other girls. Furthermore, there was a sense of misfortune, of someone who is incapable of solving her problems with docility. (…)

It seemed unacceptable to me! Why on earth should I obey what someone else said in order to work or fulfill my aims! Come on! This didn’t make any sense.
(…)

R: [I found allies] at home. In my family. A full alliance.
(…)

R: [The education I got from my family] was crucial. My mother was a teacher. So she is a woman who always had clear that she wanted to study, with a very strong personality. She wanted to escape an environment where her only future was to get married. She was economically independent and she knew for sure that this was a mechanism to assure her self-esteem and a way to be an autonomous person. She got married late and my father was that way too. He was rather old to get married too. In that sense, I think I come from a peculiar couple (…)

R: Besides, I was lucky that in city B I was in touch with other women who were peculiar too. Some of them agreed with the social norms in regards to marriage. Others didn’t. So they stayed single since they didn’t want to accept that they had to build their lives in dependence on a man.

Spanish

R: Creo que va a dar muy mal resultado porque como yo fui educada en el combate pues entonces...No puedo ofrecerte un relato genérico, novelizado de mi vida. Es la lucha diaria desde que me levanto y salgo de casa. Desde que tengo conciencia, cualquier cosa que me pareciera que no se correspondía, o que era una minusvaloración mía por ser mujer pues la enfrenté.

I: En qué tipo de situaciones se consideró minusvalorada?

R: En ninguna, yo no me dejé minusvalorar. Noté situaciones que se producían como fruto de un dominio y de un machismo imperante pero...A lo mejor por la educación que recibí. Mi padre era republicano y de facto feminista, pero tanto por ideología como por sensibilidad. Entonces impidió que a mi hermana y a mí nos marcaran de nacimiento con agujeros en las orejas. No conozco otras personas de mi generación que les pasara eso. Dijo que a la gente no había que marcarla. Y si de mayor por coquetería queríamos llevar pendientes con orejas agujereadas que lo hiciéramos nosotras. Entonces a lo mejor ya crecí con ese...de esa manera. A mi nunca se me dijo esto no lo puedes hacer por ser mujer. En mi ámbito familiar. Y estando tan amparada y protegida desde esa manera pues nunca se me ocurrió que podía asumir ser minusvalorada. Me casé a los 22 años y como no pareció que las reglas del matrimonio se correspondían con lo que yo entendía que debía ser mi ejercicio personal y profesional me separé en pleno franquismo y sin ley del divorcio por el medio. Fui l asegunda persona que consiguió el divorcio en la cuidad A. Salió la ley como en el mes de marzo y en el mes de mayo yo ya tenía sentencia. Con un convenio que hice de acuerdo con el propio abogado porque me leí la ley. Entonces si te voy a relatar cosas que parece que son éxitos de combate, que no es ninguno, porque yo ni cambié nada la situación relativa, mía personal por el hecho de ser mujer, sino que me tuve que meter a la fuerza como cualquier persona que se socializa en un dominio determinado. Otro es el combate diario, que soy de esa manera. Si voy a un sitio y la pregunta o la respuesta que me dan a respecto de una situación no me parece aceptable lo combato con la palabra.
(…)
Quiero decir que nunca me deprimí, ni me pareció traumático. Precisamente cuanto más conocimiento tienes de como funciona la sociedad...Asumí de forma también de forma intelectualizada y científica el papel que cumplimos las mujeres. Y tengo una perspectiva que gracias a la racionalización no me afectó personalmente. Bueno, no me afectó personalmente... Después de esa separación traumática somaticé una buena enfermedad. Pero eso creo que pasaba por la situación que tenía no yo si no todas las mujeres en una sociedad en la que había que asumir que el que mandaba era el hombre, y yo no tenía derecho a trabajar fuera del lugar donde vivía él. Claro, me parecía un disparate de tal envergadura...Eso no es aceptable para mí.

I: Se refiere al proceso de divorcio?

R. Es que de aquella pasé 7 años esperando por el divorcio. Yo me separo en el año 75 y en el 81 se firma por UCD la ley del divorcio. Fueron años esperando por un divorcio que no existía. Y sometida a le ejecución de leyes franquistas que me podían obligar a dejar mi trabajo. Porque me daba la gana de trabajar y residir fuera de donde estaba establecido el domicilio familiar que era el del hombre. No llegó a pasar nada de eso pero estaba en una situación totalmente precaria desde el punto de vista legal.

I: En ese momento como se sintió?

R: Totalmente enloquecida. Pensé que tenía que escarparme a exiliarme a cualquier otro país.

I: Experimentó resistencias de personas de su entorno?

R: Sí, eso fue...Fue muy duro. Incluso a mis padres la gente de buen pensar y de orden le retiraba el saludo. Date cuenta que en una pequeña cuidad de la región A de aquel momento podía haber tres o cuatro chicas separas. Eran objeto de dos cosas. Una de segregación social porque podían ser un mal ejemplo para las mujeres sumisas. Y otra, pues la constatación de una desgracia. De alguien que no sabe resolver en condiciones de sumisión sus problemas.

I: Sintió la presión social?

R: Ya te digo que somaticé el problema. Creo que eso me eliminó el problema de sentir la presión social porque tenía que echarlo a la espalda. Me importaba poco.

I. Por qué cree que rompió un poco el molde o el estereotipo de lo que se esperaba de usted?

R: Porque me parecía inaceptable! Cómo iba a tener yo que someterme a lo que me dijera alguien para trabajar o para realizarme! Es que vamos! Era absolutamente absurdo.

I: Encontró aliados algún elemento que le ayudara?

R. Sí, en mi casa. En mi familia. Una alianza total.

I: Percibe que la educación que recibió de su familia...

R: Eso fue fundamental. Mi madre era maestra. Entonces también es una mujer que tuvo muy claro siempre, con una personalidad muy fuerte, desde muy pequeña que ella quería estudiar. Y salir del medio de pensar que el único futuro que tenía era el matrimonio. Ella tenía independencia económica y sabía seguro que eso era un mecanismo de garantizar una autoestima y una presencia como persona totalmente autónoma. Se casó tarde y mi padre era una persona de esas características. Mayor también para casarse. En ese caso considero que soy fruto de una pareja singular.

I: Se considera usted una mujer excepcional con respecto a su generación con respecto a esas actitudes?

R: No puedo usar la palabra excepcional porque sería soberbioso. Pero singular sí. Luego tuve la suerte que el medio en el que me relacioné con mujeres de mi edad en cuidad B pues tenían también unas características singulares. Unas aceptaron totalmente lo que son las normas sociales de conducta respecto del matrimonio. Otras no. Y permanecieron solteras porque no querían aceptar pensar que tenían que construir una vida siempre al rabo de un hombre. Pasando por eso. A lo mejor es una postura que podía tener sus partes positivas y negativas. Pero tomaban esa actitud, entonces eso significaba un amparo de comprensión de personas muy inteligentes. Y sigo teniendo relación y amistad con ellas, desde los 10 años.

(...)
Tienes que poner separación. No existía el divorcio. Y la mujer...Teníamos desde el punto de vista de las leyes obligaciones que ahora serían inconcebibles. Si en aquel momento, año 74, el marido de aquel momento manda a la guardia civil a buscarme al domicilio que tenía alquilado aquí en cuidad B, donde estaba viviendo sola y trabajando en la universidad, tengo que ir y vivir con él. Va al juez y dice mi mujer no vive conmigo en casa. Sí, y si en ese momento me cogen in fraganti además en adulterio voy a la cárcel yo y lo que se llama correo de la adúltera. Se llamaba en leyes. A el no le pasaba nada pero podía acabar en la cárcel. No era el caso, pero podía serlo. En el 81 me divorcié, en aquel momento ya de mutuo acuerdo, y con un convenio regulador del divorcio. (...)
Fue una situación muy difícil. En aquel momento fui al abogado y le dije 'yo quiero separarme' y me dijo '¿y por qué?. 'Porque me da la gana'. Dijo 'eso no existe. ¿tú crees que estás en América?'. La ley no contemplaba esa posibilidad. Tenía que haber un motivo casi penal y las mujeres que conseguían la separación legal, que yo no lo intenté, era por un motivo muy duro. Podía ser de malos tratos demostrados o bueno...muy complicado. Y a continuación pedían la nulidad del matrimonio. Que el matrimonio era sólo religioso, no existía otro.

Metadata

Other Topic categories:
CHILDHOOD / FAMILY LIFE / RELATIONSHIPS
IDENTITY
LEISURE
PROFESSIONAL CAREER
Key actors: 
myself, mother, father, partner, sibling
Tags:
adultery, divorce/break-up, family life, marriage/co-habitation, health, illness, (in-) dependence, appearance/physical beauty, friends, occupation/job, church, court/justice/legal rights, discrimination, feminism/feminist, patriarchy/matriarchy, sanctions, sexism, social exclusion
Female, 61 Spain

Gender did matter

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